Following news that former MMA fighter War Machine has been found guilty in the 2014 assault of ex-girlfriend Christy Mack, she speaks in a new HBO interview.

The retired pornstar sat down Bryant Gumbel for the latest episode of Real Sports, where she opened up about War Machine’s trial, admitting she still had lingering love for him… despite the trauma he put her through.

“There was one time in the initial hearing where he mouthed that he loved me and that was extremely difficult,” Christy said, with tears in her eyes. “I began bawling immediately. Because for a long time, I did still feel emotionally connected to him. It stayed with me for a long time. And while I don’t feel the love that I used to feel for him now, going through this process with somebody that you did love or that I felt I could love, was extremely hard.”

In March, War Machine (born Jonathan Paul Koppenhaver) was found guilty of 29 felony counts in the assault, including kidnapping and sexual assault with a weapon.

The 35-year-old will remain jailed until his sentencing. He faces life in prison without parole.