J. Cole brings viewers to a time in his career before he topped the charts, before he was next up on Jay-Z’s Roc Nation label, and gets very personal as well, in the emotional video for “Lost Ones,” off his debut album, Cole World: The Sideline Story.

“With just a Dollar and a Dream, this video was shot in 2008 before I even had a record deal,” Cole writes at the beginning of the clip. “Three years later, watching it still gives me the same emotions. This is dedicated to the Lost Ones.”

The BBGUN-directed clip begins with a 23-year-old Cole is arguing with his teary-eyed girlfriend about their unborn child. The rapper shares that he wants an abortion because he’s not ready to support a child, while she strongly disagrees, adding that it’s not his decision.

Later in the visual, Cole walks by the playground wondering what could have been, as he sees a child playing. Did he make the right decision?