Rihanna x Rolling Stone coverRihanna is very revealing in her new Rolling Stone spread, but not just physically, but also about everything going on in her life.

In the mag’s new issue, which hits newsstands Friday (April 1), the singer opens up about why she lifted the restraining order against ex Chris Brown, the perception of herself following the ex-couple’s publicized domestic dispute, her freaky bedroom antics, and her current, stagnant love life.

Below are highlights from the story, courtesy of RollingStone.com:

Lifting the restraining order against Chris Brown: “We don’t have to talk again ever in my life. I just didn’t want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did to me was a personal thing—it had nothing to do with his career. Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can’t perform at awards shows—that definitely made it difficult for him. That was the only thing it was going to change, so I didn’t care. But you can never please people. One minute I’m being too hard, and the next minute I’m a fool because I’m not being hard enough.”

Putting up a front following their domestic dispute: “I put my guard up so hard. I didn’t want people to see me cry. I didn’t want people to feel bad for me. It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, ‘I’m fine, I’m tough.’ I put that up until it felt real.”

In the bedroom: “I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned—you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs… I’d rather have him use his hands.”

On her love life: “I’m not sexing, I’m not even sexting. It’s on complete nil,” she says, adding, “I haven’t gotten a dick picture in a long time. I think people are a little afraid. It can turn out bad.”

Empathy for her father: “I actually feel really bad for my father. He was abused too—he got beat up by his stepdad when he was young. He has resentment toward women, because he felt like his mom never protected him, and unfortunately, my mother was the victim of that. I’m not giving him excuses. Right is right and wrong is wrong. I still blame him. But I understand the source.”