Seven years ago, I was a feeble minded individual who lacked a firm understanding of reality. My ineptness for life hindered my vision, and resulted in me being in a world destitute of answers. You see at 12 years old, I never grasped the severity and magnitude of 9/11. Back then, I was more interested in how the character from “Hey Arnold” was able to fit his football shaped head through those tight contraptions. The day 9/11 occurred, instead of worrying, and kneeling on my knees for my mother’s safety, I was wondering why every channel was broadcasting clips of the planes crashing. Instead of dissecting Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11, and growing weary of the Bush Administration, I was cursing out Charlie Ward for making boneheaded mistakes on the court. What I’m saying is, I regret being so ignorant, and finding it ok to simply ignore the obvious. If Christina’s “Genie In a Bottle” wasn’t indeed fiction, God knows I would have relied on her to reverse the hands of time. There’s a lot of things I wish I could have done differently, but instead me of going into my R. Kelly rendition, and blurt out countless wishes, I rather just be real and tell it like it is.
I regret my parents falling into the hype of believing George Bush would be our savior, and provide the country with a chance of redemption. With Bush embedding contemptuous views in their minds, they were eager to grab Osama, and barbeque his ass. My family, who I thought only had pure democratic blood flowing through their veins, were guilty of applauding this republican. I didn’t know if my family was brainwashed like the other 75% of America, or if they were so disillusioned into believing maybe Bush would revive our country from this downward spiral.
I also dread the fact that I fed off the hands of the media. It sounds ironic considering I’m an aspiring journalist. Like everyone else, I found myself duped by the media and began believing in those facetious terror alerts. Every 15 minutes, the alerts were changing colors, more than Kanye’s wardrobe. In high school, my social studies teachers used to pry us into believing the evils of yellow journalism, and simply disregard the news as mistrustful. As I look at the media now, all I could say is “Damn, I was a foolish kid.” I learned the government, and the media have field days in instilling fear in the public. They just relish off the fact that they can force us to believe anything they paint. I’m sorry if I offend you Larry King, but really tell me why shouldn’t I take E! Entertainment as serious as CNN?
I also regret being 12 years old at the time. When 9/11 occurred everyone was caught up with the Nas and Jay-Z beef. I recall running home from school to go listen to Angie Martinez to hear the latest comeback from Nas. With me getting so riled up about this beef, and hearing these two revolutionary albums, I, unfortunately, had my mind on other things. It’s sad too, because it’s only now I appreciate the content of Nas’ “Rule” off his critically acclaimed Stillmatic. The crazy thing about the whole beef and everything was Jay-Z dropping Blueprint the day of 9/11. It’s still hard to fathom how I had the audacity to listen to the album during those times of tragedy.
It’s weird. When all these artists began referring to 9/11 on their tracks, I was clueless as to why. I didn’t understand why Juelz dubbed New York as “The home of 9/11,” and why Biggie’s verse on “Juicy” (“bout to get paid / blow up like the world trade) seemed like a premonition to the actual event (FYI, there was a bombing in 1993 regarding the World Trade). Seven years later, I’ve come to realize there’s nothing I can do but move on, and learn not to live in regrets. In the words of Hov, “Time waits for no man / can’t turn back the hands / once it’s too late, gotta learn to live with regrets.”