Gritz 'N Gravy: What Do R. Kelly, Wale & Italians Have In Common?
Published: Monday - January 28, 2008
Words by Gritz
I just ate a "Cup Noodles" for the first time in approximately nine years, and I immediately remembered why they are terrible. They are saltier than Gza at the Scream Tour and the chicken in "Spicy Chili Chicken" flavor literally looks like Ratatouille deuced in the broth.
Something I also haven't done in a while is blog. I've got some Premiere League analysis of the new Lupe album in the works, but in the meantime I thought I'd get my Illseed on and share some things that have amused and bemused me recently.
First up, R. Kelz rips a "Flashing Lights" remix and makes me realize that this beat was wasted by Kanye. This is a good look for Chi-Town (not that it needs any more attention), particularly since the Pied Piper so artfully dismissed rumors that he is indeed a "crackhead."
Speaking of clowns, why did I not know about B.O.B.? Maybe because I am not from Atlanta, or because he has the least searchable name in the history of rap. Anyway, his MySpaceTV show, "The Adventures of B.O.B.," is almost as funny as What About Bob? (not really), and his latest track "Grip Your Body" perfectly combines a clever Amy Winehouse sample with some incredibly clown-tastic sex lyrics. You know what that means -- JAM OF THE WEEK!
B.O.B. is clearly employing the "rap over things that hipsters and Mark Ronson like" tactic for attracting fans. Incidentally, this is also the game plan of Wale, with the difference being that Wale is much better at rapping and he actually knows Mark Ronson. Unfortunately, he sort of disappoints on the remix of the new DMV anthem "Welcome To DC," but the remix for his own "Nike Boots" is pretty hot. Props for getting Weezy on the track before he is incarcerated!
I think the next power move for Wale would be to roam around Camden Market in London until he finds Finley Quaye, where he has been known to wander around without any shoes on. He should then ask him to how to be awesome, and also respectfully suggest a collabo. If you are unfamiliar with Finley, please enjoy "Sun Is Shining," the jam of '97.
Did you know that Italians are racists? Well, they are -- one need look no further than the 2006 World Cup Final for evidence of that. To make matters worse, their men combine aggressive alpha male behavior with the propensity to wear Capri pants, which obviously makes no sense. Fortunately, Italians (and racism) can occasionally be hilarious. Case in point, the following TV ads for an Italian washing powder. Abs looking like you do 1,000 sit-ups!
This skate video from Lakai is just dope:
Finally, I am still laughing at Ice Cube's new banger "Gangster Rap Made Me Do It." Did gangster rap make you do Are We There Yet, Cube? What about Anaconda!?!?!
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