The Garment District: It's X-Mas As Quickly As I Would Stip The Knickers Off Rosci
Published: Monday - December 24, 2007
Words by Arnold T. Pants
For the last several weeks I have been thinking hard, trying to prep the perfect Christmas post.
Pants: For my Christmas blog, I think it would be most amusing for you guys to react to some objects as if you received them as a gift. Like once, our cousin Charlie opened up a box that contained a piece of soap carved in the shape of a Porsche. He said, "This is stupid" and ran to a room crying and smashed his head against the floor for 10 minutes.
Let's begin with this Jordan XV.
Gritz: It was better when I gave him a used jockstrap and he wore it on his face like a superhero mask. Captain Jock itch!
Rob: Well, that retro'ed version is gross, but the original is not anywhere... I never knew anyone that bought them in 1999, so where did they go?
I can speak for AGES on bad Xmas gifts. I actually disowned my family because of their consistency to always made horrible purchases... like I told them, they are the sole reason people get rich off shitty products, if we had an educated consumer then these Brookstones and Sharper Images would go out of business. Who the fuck needs a life size "Alien vs. Predator" prop?
They also were amazing at getting the Busch league product... instead of Transformers I got Go-bots. Nikes? No, Etonics. Mickey Mouse, please. Warner Bros. And, there was an entire bootleg He-Man, forget his name, but he had a skull castle and all the pals, I got the whole set. Oh instead of Lego, I got some fucked up block that didn't use the metric system OR consistent sized pegs!
Pants: I have some OG's...
Rob: Apparently "flight club" is releasing the black and red on the special tip.
Gritz: other great gifts...
- Soap on a rope, sans the rope. - Tee shirt that said "American Football" and had a picture of a baseball team. - Used audio book of Alice In Wonderland, missing the last tape (I didn't find out what happened 'til freshman year of college!)
Those Jordan's are wack as hell. They look like elf shoes.
Well, as you will all surely note, this experiment was fruitless. Not only were my two celebrity guests off topic, but they also lost interest and conversation soon turned to the time Gritz had sex while listening to Luther's Christmas album.
So, I tried to switch focus. It's winter. It's cold. It's Christmas. You all need fresh jackets. Rob, being the Cardinal of Cool on both Hypebeast and Karmaloop TV, says these jackets are the best:
I can't argue with four of these five choices. A pea coat Rob?!?! Fine, if you're a girl.
This list is great and all, but still, I hadn't reached my intended result for a true Christmas spectacular.
Then Jeff Staple hit. You see, Jeff is much cooler than I am, and his swagger allows him to debut things. However, I have one up on him. I have stories. I have seen genius at work.
Roughly 18-months ago, I spent a wonderful Sunday in Cambridge, MA with my friends Steve Costello and Rob Heppler. We discussed the history of industry in Mass., we talked about sneakers, and we fused these desperate subjects.
Rob was struck with a lightening bolt. Not literally, but in the ideas department. A shoe based on lobsters! A shoe repping New England, and Boston, and most importantly Concepts! We all agreed that Rob had come up with something brilliant. We hoped that it might even happen. Low and behold it has. Today history is made.
I want to big up Rob on his dope design, and for Christmas give you this sneak peak at the future.
I'm proud to share the Nike Lobster SB, even if I am only the second guy in the world to leak the pics.
P.S. If any of you want to send me a gift, Rosci's number will do...
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