Mumbo Jumbo: Juelz Gets His Head Sprung, Jam Master Jay Concert, Remy Vs. Kim, & More
Published: Friday - November 30, 2007
Words by Joe King
Shucky Ducky Gets Touchy Feely With Juelz Santana
I'm a Boot Camp fan, but I heard that last night in New York City at the Jam Master Jay Concert, Duck Down's Shucky Ducky allegedly got really excited when he saw Juelz. So excited that he grabbed Juelz's head with his hands, gripped it like a basketball and shouted "I Love You!" The twist is that my sources said that Shucky was doing this in a "Godfather" type of away, almost "sonning" Juelz. Apparently, Juelz didn't take this lightly and wasn't very appreciative
of Shuck's behavior. A fight almost broke out, but was contained before serious damage was done. Duck Dooooooooooooown! Home of the Original Gun Clappaz! Heard he had a little too much to drink!
"Cause you don't want to test me when I'm tipsy off the liquor."
I heard that the actual concert, that took place at the Hammerstein ballroom, was great! Lots of people came out to support and to perform -- including EPMD, Prodigy, Rev Run, De La Soul and Prodigy. But where was Havoc? Mobb Deep was slated on the bill, but only half of the duo came to represent? I'll get to the bottom of this, don't even stress!
RUNNIN THE CITY!!!
Angela and Vanessa Simmons, the famed daughters of Rev Run of Run DMC, have been seen more and more, carousing various night clubs in New York City and Atlanta in particular. The girls recently launched their Pastry sneaker line and have catapulted themselves into the entertainment industry almost overnight. Just this last Wednesday night (November 28) at Lotus Nightclub in downtown Manhattan, the girls were seen arguing outside of the club. Then inside the club, it was said that the model, Vanessa, was dancing on table tops while her more laid back sister, chilled, sipping a drink. I like these girls, so I don't have anything bad to say. So what if they like to party!
WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHIN TO F--- WITH!
This was Ghostface's reply to accusations that he had a "ghost writer" behind his entire Supreme Clientele album. First of all, lol, no offense, but Ghostface isn't technically a very lyrical rapper, he just doesn't give a f--- and does him at all extents which exudes respect and admiration from his fans. Only Ghost can come up with the ish that he does. Ghost said: "Yayo can suck a fat d---. Tell him I said that." I put my money on Ghost. I'm kind of shocked that Yayo would even feel like it was his place to air that out. I am very interested in hearing more about his war of words Read the BS rundown. Shouts to Miles.
RODNEY KING IS FORD TOUGH
I think Rodney King deserves an endorsement campaign from Ford or at least Huffy. The victim of police brutality that essentially set off the riots in LA in the early 90s was shot in his face and body and STILL rode his bike to his house to call for help!!! That's gangsta! But damn, Rodney, who doesn't have a cell phone these days? Even if you are riding a 10-speed, you could still get a walkie-talkie or a Boost Mobile or something! And, if I was Rodney, I'd be the one rollin around with a double barrel shotgun for protection. He said that a man and woman approached him demanding his bike. Something sounds suspect, who walks around with a shotgun, jackin for bikes? Only crackheads would do some ish like that. Hmmmm? Lol. Reports say that the wounds are "superficial." But seriously, a shotgun to the face? Even if it just grazes you, he plainly is truly blessed for avoiding yet another meeting with the angel of death.
Remy Ma v. Lil Kim
This is MY OPINION. You caught on quick Ballerstatus OG! LOL sharp man right there. So it has been said many times over and over again that Lil Kim's lyrics were all written by the dude she was rocking with at the time -- i.e. The Notorious B.I.G. During the making of Notorious K.I.M., rumors swooned that Maino (Hustle Hard, Atlantic Records) wrote the majority of the tracks on the album. Ain't nothing wrong with that! I'd rather hear a hot chick, spit hot lyrics anyway. It's a bonus if you write your own stuff. Kind of like a chick with fake assets vs. a chick with natural ones, I'd take natural first, but plastic works too. I mean I think all men my age had this poster on their college dorm walls. Kim was bad. She turned me off a bit with all the plastic surgery 'cause Kim really was a pretty, hood chick. Not pretty hood, she's totally hood. She just had this sexiness about her that was unmatched by anyone in her class at the time. So props to Kim, not taking anything away from her when I say that Remy would straight body here in a battle. Imagine Kim and Remy at the Fight Klub!? It would be so serious. Kim doesn't have the experience that Rem has in battle/freestyle situations though, so I doubt we will see that. Let me just remind you with this Youtube of Rem v. Lady Luck at the Fight Klub. This completely extinguished the already dying flames keeping Luck's career burning. It was a wrap for her after Rem destroyed her with swagger and spit. But, I'll let you decide 'cause I let ya'll live. So lemme do me son.
Lil Kim Verses:
Hear the Biggie in these first two verses...
"Drugs" - "Flow's phenom, I'm the bomb-diggy / Ask Biggie, keep a dedicated squad wit me / Call us the Gabbana girls / We dangerous, bitches pay a fee just to hang with us"
"No Time" - "Puff Daddy pump the Hummer for the summer / I follow -- in the E-Class with the goggles / 96 models, Bad Click on the stroll / (Tell em how we roll) Cruise control / Nuttin make a woman feel betta / than Berrettas and Amarettas, butta leathers and mad cheddaz / Chillin in a Benz with my ami-gos / Tryin to stick a nigga for his pe-sos"
"Getting Money" - "Little Kim the Black Erika Caine -in / Who remains in Chanel frames and / Animals of all kind. / Russian Fendi sables / with matchin pool tables / Read the Label - MAFIA / Admirin my shoes by Gucci / I be eatin sushi, playin with my coochie / Countin lucci. Nigga I got banks to rob / Convertible Saabs. I'm married to the mob"
The Maino Influence?
"Suck My Dick" - "What bitch you know can thug it like this? / Imagine if I was dude and hittin' cats from the back / With no strings attached / Yeah n----, picture that!"
"Can't F--- with the Queen Bee" - "Don't be mad, I can't put this -- money in a casket / I can't put these -- cars in a box with the ashes / I can't take these diamonds with me when I die / I can't build that pretty white house in the sky / I know you wishin that you wrote this song / But these same words comin from you, would be a joke / You better off takin heed from your boy Jada / I know you, hate dyin - but you gon' die a hater"
If Maino would write raps like this for himself, he'd be on and poppin!
"My N----s" - "Fresh out the federal building / To Bently Coupes with the convertable ceilings / It's the Black Widow, call me Ms. White / I done been through it all, shoot-outs and fist fights / Brooklyn bitch, it go wrong I get right / Back with a classic, now gimmie 6 mics"
Remy Ma Verses:
"Kyrpotonite (Remix)" - "Remy Ma's a chef, see I be baking soda, I mixed it with the white, now they call me coke-a-cola."
"I'm" - "I can't stand a clown but I love a trick / I see a group of dudes and I take my pick / Like you you and you with the Timbs hi nice to meet you my name is Rem / I don't drive a caddy but I'm stuntin like a pimp truck / With a diddy bop looking something like a lick / I cleaned up my money now I'm filthy fucking rich (sh--)"
"Fresh" - "Both middle fingers up cause I don't give two fucks / And I'm fresh, fresh Yes don't get mad / Bow-Legged stance crazy / Look at the swagg / Look at the bag And its official look at the tags / And I aint gay but goddamn my bitches is bad"
Lol @ this line going at FOXY!
"I'm still using condoms in case ya cock aint fresh yes / Tell the truth, I need no less than the best / Because I like to over do it I'm extra fresh / And these hoes is stupid they extra deaf / But you aint go to listen or hear me / I know that you can see that..."
"Jump (Freestyle)" - "She went from camera phone straight to dvd (yea u kno me) / Told them that she was slurpin and slobberin and she swallowed it all down G / See mad niggas i knew that's blowin her back / Pussy got mad mileage but she still ain't got track"
"Ante Up (Remix)" (her whole verse is classic) - "I catch you backstage, give me the keys to the Escalade / You think you cute hoe? Take off them Gucci shades / I get my dogs to do you dirty, they all seven-thirty / Rock a ski-mask, whether it's June or February / I take your show money (OHH!) take your 'dro money (OHH!) / Yo yap that fool, cause I don't know money!"
JACK RABBITS
- Barack Obama was in Harlem's Apollo Theater with Chris Rock last night. Barack looks like Mandela to me. Sidebar!
- A Wisconsin man slips his mistress the abortion pill in her smoothie! Lol! That's Pro-Choice right there lol. And who said men didn't have a say in the decision?
- Rumors have it that Irv Gotti will release an supposed "sex tape" with his label's artist, Ashanti. We've heard about the pair for years now but there's never been any confirmation from Ashanti's side. Irv did recently air Ashanti & Nelly out on the Wendy Williams Experience in New York- blasting Ashanti's business like he owned that right too!
- Lauren London and Lil Wayne rumors still are floating around- totally bogus though. Wayne confirmed recently that he was still with Trina. I hope my precious L-Lo isn't digressing to that. Come here, girl- gimme kiss!
- Styles P had an album release party at Stereo in New York City- heard that all the expected guests were there including Swizz and Jadakiss of course. Where was Sheek? Probably somewhere with J-Hoods head tucked under his arm. Not in a lil brother kind of way either! Get over hhhhhhhere! (Mortal Kombat voice)
RANDOM THOUGHT: Remember last entry how I was telling you about this nonsense called "restless legs syndrome". While watching the commercial for the 10 th time I paid attention to the physical and mental side effects- letting them run all the way through the list before I busted out laughing when hearing side effects include- "falling asleep while driving". Besides that minor issue- other reported problems have been an increased desire to gamble and sexual urges. LOL. So if you loose all your money at Foxwoods- you can sue the company for products liability! My restless legs syndrome made me do it!
LAST ROUND: SERIUS JONES V. MURDA MOOK Make your final picks, kids! Who won this battle?
Feel free to bicker amongst each other and if you'd like to send me a question, comment, death threat or any sort of sexual proposals (no-homo please), get at me: joekingly@gmail.com.
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