Published: Monday - November 26, 2007
Words by Joe King
The holiday season is just beginning as my favorite day of the year passed. Man was the giving good this year or what?! All that garbage I talked about with my girl's fam is all out the window now! Those mofos can cook a mean meal, kid! I didn't move for two days after. While the women stormed the shopping scene in the wee hours of the morning, I was snoring away dreaming of Jessica Alba cooking me an apple pie in French maid's uniform, then feeding it to me.
Speaking of bad bitches...
WHO'S BEHIND THAT ASS?
Ok, we are all wondering who this new piece of ass is. She's gracing the cover of King this month and this chick's got an outstanding backyard! Whatever she's feeding that thing needs to be put in a bottle and marketed to the pancake ass chicks in the world. I love it. I wanna lay my head on her pillows and relax and relax. (Ya'll are too young to know anything about that Tony, Toni and Tone!) Well, let's just say the man behind this all-conditions geared ass is none other then 50 Cent. Angel Lola Luv is his newest creation? LOL. It's alive, it's alive! This is the real BLUE MAGIC! I would love to believe that this chick's ass is real, but some of these pictures are really suspect! The one below of here next to the bike looks crazy. She's got a great face, but something is off!! Looks like a Somalian kid backwards, LOL! Anyway, that's beside the point. The word is that 50 Cent was the first of the G-unit squad to break her in. From what I heard, 50 asked for "the bag" in his New York offices while Angel waited in his office. Inside the mystery bag is allegedly a video camera. It's been said on numerous occasions that he tapes his sexual escapades and definitely felt that his newest star, Angel, was worthy of a silver screen performance. 50 is a trickster though, wouldn't doubt it if he was like "let's go shoot up that ass." We can't have no white girl like Kim Kardashian beating a black girl in the ass department.
THE HULK ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK?
I pray that this isn't true. Yes, I am one of the loyal watchers of "Hogan Knows Best." I absolutely love that show! Finally, an American family to be proud of! But like most American marriages, they end in divorce. The word is that Linda, the Hulk's wife, filed for divorce last week. The Hulk seems to be the last one to know and told the St. Petersburg Times that he was completely unaware of his wife's decision. Imagine being notified through a newspaper journalist that your wife is dumping you! "My wife has been in California for about three weeks. ... Holy smokes," the Hulk told the newspaper. "Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me." (READ)
The Miami-Dade County is on FIRE this week!
REALITY SHOW FIANCE PUNCHES A MAN IN THE FACE!
Gotta love this! Mary Delgado, a former Tampa Bay Buccaneer cheerleader and a winner on the reality TV show "The Bachelor" got drunk in her Florida home and assaulted "the man she lives with." Mary punched her man slave in the face and was later arrested. What's wrong man slave, don't like it rough? Speaking of rough, here's her mug shot.
Styles P turns Billy Blanks?
Styles P says he's going to make a fitness tape. The Ghost has been seen with a new and improved, slimmer physique. He says a diet of fish and no meat helps him stay lean in correlation with a calisthenics work out plan. I think I might need that in my life after this weekend of gluttony Check out the BallerStatus exclusive.
JACK RABBITS
- I heard Diddy's going to pop the question for real, for real to Kim Porter. I swear he only fucks with skinny chicks since J-Lo. It must make him feel like his d--- is bigger with a thin model broad.
- Jay-Z shook that Beyonce might bounce on him for her bodyguard? Nahhhhh!
- Washington Redskins safety, Sean Taylor, was shot in his Florida home earlier this morning and is in critical condition. The family has requested that no info be released to the public and it's also been rumored that Taylor seldom talked to the press because he felt that they couldn't be trusted! LOL. Duh! It has also been said that Taylor is a "misunderstood" person. He's been fined numerous times for behavioral issues including spitting in an opponent's face! Sounds like my kind of player!
- Shame on Wendy Williams for making claims that Jay-Z had a ghost writer on the American Gangster album. The blasphemy!
Editorials & Columns Soulstice From France Blog #3: Day 4 Embarking on a 9-show winter tour in Europe, one of my goals was just making it through the tour without getting sick. ... full story
Digg It
Del.icio.us
