Published: Tuesday - March 27, 2007
Words by Gritz
Hip-hop is a genre that evolved with slang and regional dialects, so it's not surprising that it spawns some of the most absurd terminology in America. (I would say the world, but that would be a lie. British-West Indian patois is much more insane, as is the mongrel suburban slang of English chavs like Lily Allen,Lady Sovereign, the Streets, and my cousin).
For the most part, this is one of the things that makes hip-hop awesome. It is always mad exciting to hear someone drop a new word in a song, like when I first heard someone say "guap" and thought they were talking about ordering some nachos. Just as Usher provides dance tutorials with songs like "U-Turn," rappers will write entire songs designed to make a regional word or phrase mainstream: "We Fly High (Ballliiinnn')," "Ridin' Dirty," "Like Whoa," for example. It seems that once a dude decides that he wants to get a certain word cracking, he will go to whatever lengths necessary to broadcast it to the world. Just check out my interview with Redman (see "The Return Of Redman: Got To Stay Gilla") where he decided to ignore the question I asked him about MTV's "Cribs" and instead provide an incredibly confusing etymology of the word "gilla." (This might have also been the result of smoking the better part of a blunt during the interview, but who knows...)
Incidentally, when I asked my brother from across the way at the Garment District if he could think of a song that introduced him to a new phrase, he immediately responded, "'Déjà vu' by Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz." At first I was trying to think of the verses on that joint and new slang they might have used, but then I realized he was literally talking about the phrase "déjà vu." So I guess hip-hop can be educational in a more traditional way as well. I told him I was going to expose him for being such a bama-ass bama. And now it is so...
Anyways, the slanguistics that make the hip-hop world (r)evolve are a blessing and a curse. On the upside are crews like Wu-Tang and Dipset who have pieced together entire dialects from a wide range of cultural influences and personal inventions (Wu more so than the Dips, it must be said). On the downside are dudes like Mims who bandy about mindless phrases with no originality or conviction. I can't wait 'til my boy T. Honka B'Wonk drops the "This Is My Cock (Remix)". Streets ain't ready!
Moving on... Without further adieu, I present the most clichéd phrases in hip-hop. I consider this the graveyard of wack phrases. Others may disagree.
1) Do you: One day in the Fall, I was watching "106 & Park" and Eve was promoting AIDs awareness. Basically, she was out there telling people to "rap it up," which I actually found quite confusing. ("What y'all players want? Not AIDs...) When asked what her advice was to young girls with low self-esteem who might get pressured into high-risk situations, the best she could muster was, "Just do you." That's terrible advice for someone with a poor self-image. The problem is that they let mad dudes "do" them. That's just one very good example, but overall this phrase is overused and meaningless. The sentiment that vaguely amounts to "be true to yourself" is good, but it is often employed in lieu of any actual advice.
2) Real talk: In the words of Andre 3000, "If you say real talk, I probably won't trust ya." This phrase usually follows some of the most basic comments and inane boasts that you will ever encounter. By setting such a low standard for what constitutes "real talk" (e.g. the entire Fabolous album), hip-hop has done itself a disservice. Do I still say "real talk" a lot because it's funny? Shiiiiiiit. Of course I do. Real talk, really not really.
3) That's what's up: I basically just hate when that broad Rocsi from "106 & Park" says this. Literally anything a guest on the show says will receive a "that's what's up!" from Rocsi. Well, I've had some issues with my label so it's been a pretty depressing year. "That's what's up!" You look like you would even have sex with a dude like AJ. "That's what's up!" (I realize that this post might suggest I watch "106 & Park" a lot, but really I only watch it sometimes).
4) Rapping is a hobby: The Clipse may be the Arnold T. Pants and Gritz of the rap game (insofar as they are literally brothers), and they may have had two of the better albums of the last five years, but I cannot forgive them for helping to popularize the growing trend of "dealerz ternt rappaz." My feeling is that no one should be famous for their hobbies. This is why I don't want to see NBA stars playing golf, Angelina Jolie picking up foreign children (no Elian Gonzalez!), or my friend Cheddar Ted playing online cribbage.
If rapping is your hobby, that makes me have no desire to listen to you. And if I do like your album, then I basically just feel like an idiot who is being hustled by "crack music." That is not an ideal artist-fan dynamic. Furthermore, there is no way that any of these dudes are caking nearly as hard from drugs as they are from rap, so F out of her with that nonsense! I am no drug-dealer, but I've read From Pieces to Weight and I watch "The Wire," so I am 65% confident that I'm right about this statement.
5) I'm a boss: These days everyone's a "boss," and every chick either "needs a boss" (Rhianna) or is "bossy" (Kelis). Calling someone a boss is like something an Algerian does when you buy coffee from him on the street: "Cream and sugar, boss?" Jay is a boss because he literally has employees who answer to him. (I am talking about Jay-Z, of course, but the same could be said for Jay Casteel). Master P is also a boss; he flosses and legitimately runs companies. But just being minorly successful in rap does not make you a boss in any way.
6) No homo: I'm sorry Dipset, but I cannot provide a long-term endorsement of this phrase in any of its many formulations: no John Amaechi, no Uncle Phil, no Cash Money, no Omar from the Wire, et al. Beyond the obvious fact that it is wildly homophobic, the "no homo" afterthought is the biggest Catch-22 of the new millennium. Once you start saying it, almost everything suddenly requires a "no homo" justification. Just look at Killa Cam, who starts off the elegy at his grandfather's funeral by saying, "I never claimed to be hard, tough...no homo." That doesn't even make sense really. Eventually, you become so hyper-sensitive to double entendre that it feels like you're in an episode of "Will & Grace." No homo...see, I've done it again! This must end. (Peep the Palms Out blog for some wisdom and weighing your words carefully).
Out with the old, in with the new
I am not a complete hater, and I know that the death of every hip-hop phrase breeds a rampant offspring of new and even more incomprehensible language. Here is Gritz's Phrase of the Minute...I may make this a regular feature, but probably not.
Ya Digg?: I feel as though this is a rock 'n' roll original, but since rock stole everything from other genres why not snatch it back? The Hotboyz clearly knew their culture when they dropped the "Ha"-esque track "You Dig?" on Guerrilla Warfare. The track opens with a random white dude saying, "Dude, there's three things I love in life: Hot dog, hot ride, and the Hot mutherfuckin Boyz." Then Juve The Great starts spitting and ends every line with, "You dig?", so it's kind of like "Ha" but less good. Recently, Juelz Santana has brought this phrase to the next level with his patented inflection, and then "I Can't Feel My Face" mate Lil' Wayne made it even crazier with his speak-like-the-words-in-my-mouth-are-literally-disgusting style of speaking English.
Holler with your most loved and hated hip-hop expressions so that I can complete my list!
Shout out to T.Wiseand DJ Thundercat for a boomting show in the Shire last weekend! Community League, you know this!
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