Get F'ed Up With Bear: Just Say No... To MySpace Whores

Nowadays, you're not cool if you don't have a MySpace account. It's true, people. I was chillin' with my friend at a party and he spotted some young, promiscuous female. He went over there to strike up a conversation (aka, spit some game) and I saw him like an hour later. He wasn't happy, to say the least.

Bear: What's poppin', bro? So what happened with that chick?

Chris: Eh, she wasn't feeling me.

Bear: Well, you're always down on yourself. Did you get her number at least?

Chris: She said she wouldn't even be-friend me on MySpace.

Bear: Damn ... that's cold.

Can you believe that? He didn't even get the MySpace URL. That cold hearted woman. How can someone reject you as a friend, but whore him or herself all over MySpace saying, "Be my friend!"

And that brings me to the whole point of my blog. Not all musicians are like this, but all Hip-Hop artists are. Basically, all rappers are MySpace whores.

Yes ... every single fuckin' one of you. You rappers are MySpace whores. And I don't say to be negative, but shit, it's the truth.

To the readers, how many times a week do you get an unknown rapper, who ain't doing shit, trying to add you as a friend and act as if you have been down since 1989?

How many times do you get the same message over and over again, which reads, "HEY FAM, WUZ UP? WE HAVE A MOVEMENT GONG ON HRE SO CHCK OUT MY MUSIC N TELL ME WHUT YOU THINK. EVERYONE SAYS IT'S HOT!!!!! DROP ME A HOT COMMENT. PEACE!" Notice how the shit is always in caps and misspelled?

It's always the same fuckin' generic message.

God, it gets on my nerve. I always wanna reply back and say, "Dude, don't talk to me until you stop using the "CAPS" button and learn how to use a fuckin' spell check! And PS, your music sucks and stop talking to me you K-Fed wanna be!"

Now, I can hear all the MySpace rappers yelling, "Bear, that is messed up. I thought you WUZ a cool dude," and shit, I am. That's why I'm telling all of you how it is because every fuckin' person is tired of seeing and hearing the same shit.

With that said, here is Bear Frazer's Five Tips to becoming a better and more secure MySpace Hip-Hop Whore.

1) Stop writing in CAPS. I don't like reading in CAPS. Hurts my eyes, just like your face.

2) Use Spell check. I hate trying to sit at my computer and trying to decode what the fuck you are trying to say. Then, I realize I wasted a whole minute of my life, something precious to me. Spell check.

3) Stop pretending like you're doing me a favor. Seriously, me listening to your music won't do me any favors. It's the other way around. Listening to your song makes you indebted to me because I sit through and listen to your shit. If you act like your holier than shit, then I will ignore you and throw you out like a voodoo doll. 4) Stop bragging about your own music. I'm tired of you telling me that your music is hot. Let the fan decided ... get over yourself.

5) Personalize the message. I'm tired of the same generic message. If it isn't personal, then don't bother hollering at me. It doesn't have to be Hallmark, but damn, I don't bother with unsolicited myspace friends.

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